Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Work it Mamma returns to work

Parent's the world through have seen their children start school this month, be it that very first day at school or going into a new year, September has rolled round rather quickly. Today I have Victoria from Work it Mamma telling us all about how her little boy Arthur has just started school for the very first time, opening up the opportunity for Victoria to return to the world of work. Returning to work after taking time out, whether it be weeks, months or years is always a daunting thought. Times change as do people, and that can often make the challenge that little bit more daunting.

So tomorrow morning I’ll be taking my boy to school for the first time.
I’ve had the tearful moments already. I’ve bought him endless trousers and shorts – just in case. I’ve had his hair cut and I’ve filled this ever-present void with practical stuff.
But then Friday will be here and all that practical stuff will be done and I’ll say goodbye and he’ll have a lovely morning while I wait to hear all about it, a little heavy of heart but proud.
Spin the coin and it’s the end of an era for me. I’ve agreed to increase my working hours. Not by much, but enough to nudge me a little further towards a full working week. In turn a little further away from being at home with my boy.
It makes sense, it really does. He’ll be at school and I can concentrate on me a little more. Build my career and make the most of a bit more cash. But god it hurts because it’s the end. It’s made the last few weeks a very reflective time for me. We’ll never wander around Thursday and Fridays and enjoy that school-free time. I’ll never snatch cuddles on a rainy weekday at home (ok, I know this is a little dramatic but it’s just how I’ve been feeling!).
Along side all this is a little nagging feeling I’ve been refusing to acknowledge. I’m putting myself out there again. I’ve changed jobs to a far more interesting and stretching job. My part time safety net is slipping away and it’s me against the world. What if they all realise I’m just winging this whole work business. What if after all this time, I just can’t do it any more.
If I’m honest I feel I’ve hidden a little behind my working mum title. Allowing me to pass on challenges and not take on new and often scary stuff. Along with the new school year I've found my own crisis of confidence. I wasn’t expecting it.
 I know Arthur will fly at school, he’ll find his feet and all will be well.  I think I owe it to us both to do the same.
Do drop by and say hello to Victoria on Twitter!

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