I haven't talked about work on the blog for a while, if I am honest it is because I don't want to bore you with my drivel. The kind of drivel that would see me complaining throughout the entire post about how down I feel about my working life, but today...Well that is exactly what you are going to be reading if you choose to read on.
It is no secret that I am un-happy at work, I have told you all about the office troll and how I have found it hard since I returned to work last year. How I supposedly returned to the same job but slunk right down to becoming a general dog's body, or the office skivvy as I like to call it...
Last week I was asked if I would lend a hand at the open day this Wednesday serving coffee. Of course I had no objection there and agreed to do it. Then I was told I would have to drive over an hour for the privilege of doing them this favour.
I am the most nervous driver and point blank refuse to go on the motor way, so this for me was out of the question and is exactly what I told them. I was more than happy to lend a hand if I could hop in someone else's car, but I was not going to stress myself out over something that I didn't need to.
This was accepted after it was questioned to the high heavens, but then why should I have to justify myself when I was doing them a favour? I was told that I would be car sharing with a colleague but not given any timings of what the day was going to entail, but of course they know I have to get back for Leo so it wouldn't be late...would it!?
Actually it turns out I was wrong on that point, the day is due to start at 7:30am meaning I have to drop Leo off with Granny early. This is no problem and I can work around that, but I wouldn't be back from the open day until gone 7:30pm. Wednesday nights don't give me any flexibility at all, my Mum has commitments that she can't break, and why should she? Luke is working late and I don't have anyone to have Leo after 5:00pm.
Of course now they have been forthcoming with the times I can see that this just isn't fees-able for me to take part in, if I go along and help there is no way I can get back unless I catch a train at 2:00pm getting me back in time to pick up Leo, but then they are still up the creek without a paddle. If I was to drive I would still have to leave early to get back...
But when I highlighted my dilemma this afternoon I was made to feel like I again had to justify my actions, when I know that I don't. The office troll told me I should drive and that my Dad could have Leo. This lady doesn't even know my Dad, and if she did she would know he works in Sheffield throughout the working week. Surely me telling them that I don't have any childcare should be ample enough and kept the office troll from name dropping people who could have MY son!?
The office troll kept questioning why I wouldn't drive and told me how I should go about getting there. She told me it was possible and kept pushing.
Then the final nail in the coffin was my line manager saying 'well I fail to see why this is my problem' Well who's problem is it then eh boss? Because it most certainly isn't mine. YOU need to find someone to go along and serve coffee for the potential clients, because I will not be bullied, pushed or forced into doing something I am un-comfortable with.
I will stand my ground.
I guess I don't have any particular solid reason as to why I don't like driving long distance, but the feeling is there all the same. Why should I put myself in a situation that makes me nervous?
Aside from the fact I can't leave Leo on his own or have the desire to drive to Oxford, it is the night before Leo's birthday! The night that I planned to bake Leo's cake and get everything ready for his birthday the following day.
I thought that I would be able to take the hour I was going to be owed from the morning and leave an hour early so that I could have a head start on Leo's big day! But apparently that would be asking to much!