Tuesday, 14 August 2012

The Flexible Working Decision

After returning back to work on July 25th 2012, I was greeted with the fact that my priorities had changed. I was a Mummy who needed more time with her baby, and this was not not the only change to have come around in my 13 months absence.

The company had moved on, I was not relied upon any more. My passion for the work I was doing ceased to exist. With all of these different emotions and feelings of resentment to missing out on my little man, I applied for flexible working. 

I made my application after my first 3 days back at work, and it has taken this long to hear their response. As the weeks have rolled by it has given me ample opportunity to think about what I want to do. What I would love to do. The same thoughts keep coming up in my head, and those bright sparkly ideas are telling me that I don't belong where I am anymore and I long to re-train in public relations.

I am putting my all into finding the best route into going about this and work experience seems to be a good road to take. I am lining my options up and trying not to put all my eggs in one basket. 

Today however I received really good news, that will hopefully aid my stride in chasing my dream. My application for flexible working has been granted. The date this will all start is October 1st 2012. 

I was called up for a meeting with the Operations Director. I suddenly felt really nervous, and I felt my heartbeat skip a beat, and until that meeting was over it beat so fast I thought it may jump right out of my chest. I don't know whether I was scared, or just worried that they may not approve it, or the fact that they might? 

The director told me with a smile that it had been approved and handed me a letter sealing my fate. 

This will give me more time with Leo, and more time for me to really get into what I want to do. I feel so different about being back at work, with all the changes that I cannot get my head around, and no longer feeling like part of the furniture, but more of an outsider looking in. 

I still need to get Luke on board with my flexible working. I just need him to understand that I need to do this for Leo, and I need to do this for myself. It is not about me not wanting to work because I do. I still also want to achieve all of the same goals that he does, but I also need a little bit of compromise in this. 

I think long term it is best that I chase my dreams now, to put us in better stead for the future. This dream is never going to go away and this precious time with Leo is still rolling by, without me. 

Do you have any advice in how I can make Luke understand? Make him see where I am coming from?

Thank you to everyone who has wished me all the luck in the world with my mission to seek flexible working and for all of your advice. I greatly appreciate it.


Wednesday, 1 August 2012

I am not Super Woman

A week ago today I made my return to work

One whole week ago today...

This week's life lesson is very apparent to me. I am not and never will be Super woman. 

There are only 24 hours in a day, and I only have one pair of hands. I can only ever be in one given place at any one time, despite my wanting to split in two and suddenly sprout arms that would make any Octopus proud! Realistically this isn't going to happen, and something has to give.

This week has shown me that so much can change in a week, your feelings, hopes, dreams and your priorities. Of course Leo has always been my number one priority. That is exactly why I went back to full time work, but while I am sitting there behind my desk earning those pennies, I am missing out on Leo and his daily adventures. I am missing the most important person in the world growing up. Those beautiful Blue eyes that make me feel all gooey inside, and that little laugh that makes me melt.

Yes, I am making the money and providing for Leo but what is the point if I cannot see him and enjoy him? So yesterday I made my feelings known, and pushed forward on my mission to gain Two extra days a week with Leo. 

I told my line manager I wished to work flexible hours.

Today I presented him with my official letter, and he put all the necessary wheels into motion so I can try to obtain my ideal working scenario. 

What I like to call 'The best of both worlds'.

The best of both worlds are Two separate worlds that share me equally. Meaning I don't need to attempt to turn into Super Woman. I can share my time more evenly between work, and my beautiful boy. 

Work have been nothing but supportive and I cannot thank them for all their help. It is looking positive on the part time front and I would be very surprised if my request was denied. On the financial front there a things I do need to look into and consider, but I know that I want to take on the part time hours.

I should hear more back about the verdict tomorrow, and I will then take time over the weekend to seriously consider each and every detail. Then I will make my final decision based on all of the information.

Luke seems more open to the idea today, I am hoping this will continue as the information comes in. I know he is only considering the financial aspects, but then so am I.

I had a little chat with my line manager today and he was not surprised by my email asking for a flexible working pattern, he knew I would find it hard being away from Leo. Apparently more so than I did. He is very optimistic that it will be accepted.

Since having Leo I have found I have been so much more outspoken. The Laura before Leo was always happier to sit quietly in the corner while at work, and never speak her mind. Mummy Laura will do whatever she can to be there for Leo. So despite my worries about applying for a flexible working pattern, I did it anyway. 

I may not be Super Woman but Leo has most defiantly given me a drive.

A drive to do the right thing!  

If you are in a similar situation to me, take the time to really consider your options. And above all else...

Follow your heart.