After returning back to work on July 25th 2012, I was greeted with the fact that my priorities had changed. I was a Mummy who needed more time with her baby, and this was not not the only change to have come around in my 13 months absence.
The company had moved on, I was not relied upon any more. My passion for the work I was doing ceased to exist. With all of these different emotions and feelings of resentment to missing out on my little man, I applied for flexible working.
I made my application after my first 3 days back at work, and it has taken this long to hear their response. As the weeks have rolled by it has given me ample opportunity to think about what I want to do. What I would love to do. The same thoughts keep coming up in my head, and those bright sparkly ideas are telling me that I don't belong where I am anymore and I long to re-train in public relations.
I am putting my all into finding the best route into going about this and work experience seems to be a good road to take. I am lining my options up and trying not to put all my eggs in one basket.
Today however I received really good news, that will hopefully aid my stride in chasing my dream. My application for flexible working has been granted. The date this will all start is October 1st 2012.
I was called up for a meeting with the Operations Director. I suddenly felt really nervous, and I felt my heartbeat skip a beat, and until that meeting was over it beat so fast I thought it may jump right out of my chest. I don't know whether I was scared, or just worried that they may not approve it, or the fact that they might?
The director told me with a smile that it had been approved and handed me a letter sealing my fate.
This will give me more time with Leo, and more time for me to really get into what I want to do. I feel so different about being back at work, with all the changes that I cannot get my head around, and no longer feeling like part of the furniture, but more of an outsider looking in.
I still need to get Luke on board with my flexible working. I just need him to understand that I need to do this for Leo, and I need to do this for myself. It is not about me not wanting to work because I do. I still also want to achieve all of the same goals that he does, but I also need a little bit of compromise in this.
I think long term it is best that I chase my dreams now, to put us in better stead for the future. This dream is never going to go away and this precious time with Leo is still rolling by, without me.
Do you have any advice in how I can make Luke understand? Make him see where I am coming from?
Thank you to everyone who has wished me all the luck in the world with my mission to seek flexible working and for all of your advice. I greatly appreciate it.