3 years ago I had reached a point where I hated the idea of shopping for myself. I didn't feel comfortable in any of the clothes I owned, and the idea of buying a new dress filled me with dread. I wanted to be able to treat myself and feel good about what I was wearing, but I was so aware of the spare tyre that had accumulated around my abdomen and how my thighs clapped together as though they were preparing to give me a standing ovation.
I spent my time shopping for Leo, I didn't even feel the need to have a look in the shops that I used to love. I watched girls on the street walk past me looking absolutely beautiful, I saw how confident they looked and I felt green with envy.
How these girls looked in their crop tops and hot pants over the summer months, how they pulled off the risque dress choice that I would have loved to have been able to wear. 2014 was the year that I finally got my bottom into gear, I did it for many reasons, but one of the biggest factors was so that I could wear whatever I wanted and feel comfortable and confident enough to do so (not to mention that I would have the pleasure of replacing my entire wardrobe at the end of it, I was shopping on Love the Sales most days!).
If there is one word that I would use to describe myself, I would have to go with 'Determined', a word that other people might use is 'Stubborn', but whichever way you look at it, whether it was sheer determination or the drive to prove people wrong... I achieved my goal.
I have thoroughly enjoyed treating myself to new clothes, it has allowed me to be more daring than I have ever been in my life when it comes to fashion. If you are looking to make a change and apply a new lifestyle, there is no better way than setting yourself a shopping trip treat for once you have hit a certain milestone. This worked wonders for me, and actually pushed me to go further in the grand scheme of things! I still can't help checking out the dress sale on Love the Sales!
I look at the photo on the left (top of this post) of me 3 years ago, and it's hard to remember a time that this was me. I remember how I felt taking that photo, I didn't like what I saw in the mirror, I was just starting to take those tentative baby steps to try and change my attitude towards food, and to try and take control back over my body and provide it with the TLC that it really needed.
Now I look at that photo and I see just how far I have come, I never expected to achieve everything that I have done, all I aimed to really do was lose a bit of weight and carry on with my life. I never expected to fall in love with fitness, and I never expected to be continuing it 3 years later!
This journey has been one hell of a learning curve, and even now I'm learning as I go. It's safe to say that it's not only a physical transformation that I have worked towards over the last couple of years, but it's also an emotional one that has helped me pick my confidence back up from around my ankles, where it had fallen and gathered dust and didn't have the momentum to propel itself back to life on it's own.
I've shared my journey for many reasons, it's helped me motivate myself to keep going, it's allowed me to reach out to other ladies who feel like they are past helping themselves (I was one of them!), it's connected me with ladies all over the world and provided me with inspiration to keep going forward and it's helped me capture how much I have grown and learned.
I've realised that not everyone is going to like what I do, and that's fine. Although I share my journey, it's not for them, it's for me. If someone doesn't like my body or how I train then that's absolutely fine, because this is me, it's who I am, and I'm happy in the skin I'm in and you can bet your bottom dollar that I'm proud of my achievements!
You are always going to be too much for some people, you can't please everyone and you shouldn't attempt too, all you can do is keep moving forward and take strides towards your goals and smile at everyone who tells you 'you looked better before, but where are your boobs though? Too muscular, too skinny' because those kind of comments SHOULD not distract you from your hopes and dreams.
And if you are anything like me... It is those sorts of comments that will just keep you focused on the task at hand. who do you think will have the last laugh?
It won't be them. It will always be you.